Fortune Cookies

I didn’t know what else to call the items on this page. Quotable Quotes? Noteable Notes? Something else?

So I decided to just call ’em “Fortune Cookies,” and be done with it. Anyway, whatever they’re called, here are ten of ’em, randomly chosen just for you…

"One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow."
— Vincent T. Goss

"As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for."
— Josh Billings

"I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth."
— Chico Marx

Sign seen at a Bangkok dry-cleaners:
“Drop your trousers here for best results.”

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
— Mark Twain

Live and learn.
(But not in that order.)

"A problem well stated is a problem half solved."
— Charles F. Kettering

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam my clothes down too.

“...Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional.”
— Professor Brian Quinn

"A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first."
— Oscar Levant