Fortune Cookies

I didn’t know what else to call the items on this page. Quotable Quotes? Noteable Notes? Something else?

So I decided to just call ’em “Fortune Cookies,” and be done with it. Anyway, whatever they’re called, here are ten of ’em, randomly chosen just for you…

"Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children."
— Sam Levenson

"A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't."
— Irvin S. Cobb

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
— actress Brooke Shield

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
— Dave Barry, “The Taming of the Screw”

"An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory."
— Franklin P. Jones

"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times."
— Mark Twain

"If we all said to each other's faces what we say behind each other's backs, society would be impossible."
— Honor de Balzac

"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, `Well, what do you need?'"
— Steven Wright

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

It’s great to be smart ’cause then you know stuff.