Almost Dave

Almost Dave: Victoria’s Secret

Lately, the David Wilcox mailing list has had a good deal of fun writing parodies to David's songs. I've collected the efforts on these pages. I hope you enjoy.

Victoria’s Secret” by Oz
based on Jamie’s Secret by David Wilcox

Sent: Dec 3, 2001 4:41PM


Near sales racks, with the bras on sale
While waiting patiently for my girl, Gail
I heard a secret I now can share
Concerning Vicky, and her underwear

If you had been there then you’d agree
That as a guy it’s not the place to be
But my part was one that’s well rehearsed
My girlfriend needed me to hold her purse

So as I stood there looking at the floor
She walked right by me, heading out the door
Her name was Vicky, as I just have said
But don’t tell Gail, or I’ll soon be dead.

She looked just like an angel, without wings
And when she walked, it was Jell-O on springs
I couldn’t help but notice as she passed
That miniskirt of hers, clung to her fast.

Her clothing fit her like it was divine
I saw no trace of any panty line
She took one look at me and winked one eye
And then I thought, I’m going to die

I grinned a sickly grin and said, “Hi there
I was just noticing your . orange scarf”
I know it was a stupid thing to say
She wasn’t wearing any scarf that day

She stood there silent and my heart did sink
I know I turned a dozen shades of pink
But then she smiled as she walked towards me
I waited for my crotch to feel her knee

She walked right by me with a gentle grace
And then her lips passed right beside my face
The words she whispered hung there in the air,
“You cannot see . what isn’t there.”

Near sales racks, with the bras on sale
While waiting patiently for my girl, Gail
I heard a secret I now can share
Concerning Vicky, and her underwear ...

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