Almost Dave

Almost Dave: Vickie’s Secret

Lately, the David Wilcox mailing list has had a good deal of fun writing parodies to David's songs. I've collected the efforts on these pages. I hope you enjoy.

Vickie’s Secret” by Dennis
based on Jamie’s Secret by David Wilcox

Sent: May 17, 1999 10:53 AM


Down at the mall there’s a special place
Where they sell underwear and things of lace.
I’d seen their magazines from time to time,
So I went in there just to pass the time.

Well I felt flush when I passed inside
I looked around, there was no place to hide.
This was no place for a “real man” to be,
But obviously that did not stop me.

Then the feeling passed, so I walked right in
And lookad at things that barely hide the skin.
They have variety, that much I’ll say.
Who thinks up all this stuff, anyway?

My special someone was mad at me
So I wandered ’round hoping that I would see
A special article to make her grin,
And have her smiling at me once again.

Between the pajamas and lingerie
There in the corner and out of the way
I found a nightie that I thought looked keen
I had not seen this in the magazine.

So I picked it out, then I realized
That I had no idea about her size
Might be a six or she might be a four.
It’s so confusing and my mind just roared.

To ask for help did not fit my plan
“She might be happy with a frying pan.”
No, I came here, now I will make this deal!
I’ll face this challenge despite what I feel.

So at the counter I took a deep breath
Though it seems silly, I was scared to death.
But she was friendly and she knew her stuff,
Overcame my nervousness soon enough.

So I took it to her and she tried it on.
She looked so special and her frown was gone.
And then she gave to me a special kiss
A kiss of joy... a kiss of bliss.

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