Almost Dave

Almost Dave: Speed and Money

Lately, the David Wilcox mailing list has had a good deal of fun writing parodies to David's songs. I've collected the efforts on these pages. I hope you enjoy.

Speed and Money” by Dennis
based on Sex and Music by David Wilcox

Sent: June 18, 1999 7:13 AM


He’s not int’rested in your safety. No.
His attention is just on your speed.
I mean, they don’t send him out to prevent collisions. That’s right.
They send him to satisfy greed.
And the road that will lead you to find this out
Has many races and some wrecks
And you’ll find yourself making contributions
To help the magistrate pay for his sex.

(Got you now) The policeman’s hiding
(Got you now) Behind an overpass
(Got you now) The moment that you see him
(Got you now) You let off of your gas.

Well, at first you say “I’ll just go 5 over”
But soon you’re up around 10, right? (Uh huh)
As soon as those lights flash behind you,
Right there’s where the fun times end. (Pay the ticket)
But how does this enhance my safety,
When vulnerable by the road I sit?
What would it do to their numbers
If while we sat here, we both were hit?

When money propagates policemen
Money takes its toll.
You’re just another source of income
As down the road you roll.
And it really makes no sense to me.
Do they think that we have no wit?
“Just tryin’ to save you from yourself” is what he said.
I think he’s full of ... donits.

(Got you now) Donut king is hiding
(Got you now) Behind the viaduct
(Got you now) If he sees you speeding
(Got you now) Don’t you know you’re ffffffried?

Why does he hide if he wants me to slow down?
See? That’s what puzzles me. What’s the reason?
Would he not have better results
If he sat where everyone sees him?
And why are they never around
When trouble on the road you’ve got?
Are they just out getting more donuts,
Or are they conferring in some parking lot?

(Got you now) The policeman’s hiding
(Got you now) Behind the underpass
(Got you now) I want to sneak behind him
(Got you now) And kick him in his plas - tic radar gun

(What’s he trying to do?) What’s he trying to do, capture some money,
So with pride at the station he’ll stand.
“I found a great place to trap the public.
Just look at this wad in my hand.”
See, speed and money, they do relate
They are a sort of kin.
The more speed you get out of your car,
The more money they take in.

(Got you now) The policeman’s hiding
(Got you now) Behind the underpass
(Got you now) I want to sneak behind him
(Got you now) And kick him in his plas - tic radar gun

I want to kick him

(Got you now) The policeman’s hiding
(Got you now) Behind the underpass
(Got you now) I want to sneak behind him
(Got you now) And kick him in his plas - tic radar gun

Got you now.
Uh huh.

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